{{Hugs}} I'm so sorry to hear that you're having a rough visit with her.

When my relatives do this same thing, I do a little constructive conversation, like "Well, this is what we eat for breakfast, what do you like?" Trying to draw them out into a more positive frame of mind, but some people don't have a positive bone left in their body!

If it gets really bad, I just tell them that this is the way we do things in this household, and that they can do things the way they want in their houses, but complaining about it isn't going to change how we do things.