frualeydis (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
frualeydis) wrote2016-04-11 11:50 am
frualeydis) wrote2016-04-11 11:50 am
I am giving myself this
When hanging with one of my closest friends, who also has a chronic illness (or rather: several, and worse than me), recently she asked if I really had the strength and energy to be baroness of Gotvik. And I answered that I am giving myself this.
And that's how it is: all these years, while teaching and having no official time for research I have done research, gone to conferences and written articles. Both because it's fun and because if I want a job that's what I have to do.
But since a year I have a steady job on 50% (and I can't ever work more than that). And yes, I am working on articles, but the two I'm working on now will be the last for a while, maybe a couple of years. Instead I will focus on making my teaching better, the thing I'm actually paid to do.
And on my free time i will go to more events and get more involved in the SCA. I will continue writing blog posts about historical dress and even write something for an SCA newsletter, not just for scholarly journals.
I am giving myself this and I am very happy.
And that's how it is: all these years, while teaching and having no official time for research I have done research, gone to conferences and written articles. Both because it's fun and because if I want a job that's what I have to do.
But since a year I have a steady job on 50% (and I can't ever work more than that). And yes, I am working on articles, but the two I'm working on now will be the last for a while, maybe a couple of years. Instead I will focus on making my teaching better, the thing I'm actually paid to do.
And on my free time i will go to more events and get more involved in the SCA. I will continue writing blog posts about historical dress and even write something for an SCA newsletter, not just for scholarly journals.
I am giving myself this and I am very happy.
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Yay!
Teddy
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I was asked a similar question recently, the morning of Crown Tournament. A friend asked me if I was mentally stable enough to do the job, because she knew I had been struggling recently with depression. I know she meant that being queen was a hard job (which she has done twice, so she was speaking from experience), and it means having to put aside all of the internal crap and focus on the kingdom, but the question really irritated me. Is anyone EVER ready to do ANYTHING risky or challenging? To expect to have a flawless reign or to be 110% emotionally stable the whole time is unrealistic.
I told my friend that I was having my meds adjusted and that beyond that, I would take it one day at a time. Like everything else.
At least we only have 4 month reigns in the West. ;)
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