I am giving myself this

[frualeydis]

When hanging with one of my closest friends, who also has a chronic illness (or rather: several, and worse than me), recently she asked if I really had the strength and energy to be baroness of Gotvik. And I answered that I am giving myself this.

And that's how it is: all these years, while teaching and having no official time for research I have done research, gone to conferences and written articles. Both because it's fun and because if I want a job that's what I have to do.

But since a year I have a steady job on 50% (and I can't ever work more than that). And yes, I am working on articles, but the two I'm working on now will be the last for a while, maybe a couple of years. Instead I will focus on making my teaching better, the thing I'm actually paid to do.

And on my free time i will go to more events and get more involved in the SCA. I will continue writing blog posts about historical dress and even write something for an SCA newsletter, not just for scholarly journals.

I am giving myself this and I am very happy.

Comments

[pinkdiamond.livejournal.com]

Thank you :) I do find it hard to express that I don't avoid a challenge but I recognise when something is going to be harmful to myself or others. So I have had to give up theatre, that was partly because of how theatre works. It's every day, sometimes twice a day. So it's not that it's hard to plan around it's that it's a solid wall of doing stuff and not in a way I could manage for myself.

SCA and convention stuff requires a lot of planning and sometimes for longer but the bursts of being on public display are usually a few days at a time. Not easier, but a different use of energy. So it's within my scope.

I think that's maybe why outsiders find it so hard to see? That if you can take a 6 month calander and plot the peak periods and they line up with your abilities then you can plan for it. But that it doesn't necessarily mean you can do all the things in those six months, just that you can plan for it like anyone else, just with a few more supports in place :)

And honestly support is so important. I know who I can rely on for what, and while it's not optimum I'm also not in a relationship and have a few trust issues!

So yeah, I am super happy for you and Eva for doing going forth- whether planning or undertaking. And that's not with blinkers on that's fully aware :) So if either of you can use whatever support can come from NZ you have it :)


Oh, needless to say I'm not assuming any motives, just that I know how crushing it can be when you get excited only to find people are not being proactive.
A