I have to say, I often think of you as someone who doesn't let a chronic illness stop her from doing things she loves. It helps put my mind in the right place about how being "selfish" can really be an expression of self-care, if that makes any sense.
And yes, I did find it incredibly patronizing and insulting when my friend cornered me to ask if I was sure I'd be able to handle the duties of being queen, right before my fighter went to finals. Thanks for the vote of confidence!
It's weird, being suddenly thrust into the limelight consorting for a "super Duke". In all my years in the SCA, it never even entered my mind that reigning was a possibility until I apparently inspired someone enough to make him want to try to make me queen. And that act of generosity was so overwhelming that I still can't wrap my brain around it fully... We aren't anything more than good friends, but it's so oddly intimate an act and I hadn't expected it to feel that way.
And then the negative attention. No one tells you about that, but suddenly it's lurking everywhere. Like my friend asking me if I could handle being queen; like another 'friend' who has been spreading rumors about me and my fighter; like the fact that my fighter's squire has voiced concerns about me that are unfounded and based entirely in rumor and in the process is allowing these poisonous 'concerns' to drive a wedge in their relationship. Like, no one ever had a problem with me for the last 22 years, but suddenly I'm a throne-hungry duke-chaser. The hell?
If anything, it all just makes me want to do it more, because I know my worth and I know I could do good things as Queen. Fuck the haters. :)
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Date: 2016-04-15 07:14 pm (UTC)And yes, I did find it incredibly patronizing and insulting when my friend cornered me to ask if I was sure I'd be able to handle the duties of being queen, right before my fighter went to finals. Thanks for the vote of confidence!
It's weird, being suddenly thrust into the limelight consorting for a "super Duke". In all my years in the SCA, it never even entered my mind that reigning was a possibility until I apparently inspired someone enough to make him want to try to make me queen. And that act of generosity was so overwhelming that I still can't wrap my brain around it fully... We aren't anything more than good friends, but it's so oddly intimate an act and I hadn't expected it to feel that way.
And then the negative attention. No one tells you about that, but suddenly it's lurking everywhere. Like my friend asking me if I could handle being queen; like another 'friend' who has been spreading rumors about me and my fighter; like the fact that my fighter's squire has voiced concerns about me that are unfounded and based entirely in rumor and in the process is allowing these poisonous 'concerns' to drive a wedge in their relationship. Like, no one ever had a problem with me for the last 22 years, but suddenly I'm a throne-hungry duke-chaser. The hell?
If anything, it all just makes me want to do it more, because I know my worth and I know I could do good things as Queen. Fuck the haters. :)