Feeling down and worried

I'm feeling very down today. I don't know why really. I think it's a lot of reasons: it's that time of the month, it's been grey or raining most of the day, I feel that I'm spending too much money all the time, I will need to do some validation of my ability to work as soon as possible, to keep my sick benefits, but the next two weeks I'm on parental leave because Maja's daycare is closed and then I will be on parental leave in week 32 again, so that I can go to Visby. And when I told the woman who's administrating my case this I felt like I was making lots of difficulties. Also this test is 15 days long and I have hard time seeing how they are going to be able to evaluate that in such a short time; with a disease that comes in flares. Also, I could probably work full time for two weeks, if I didn't have a flare and didn't do anything else at all, medicated hard and was allowed to rest for a month or so afterward, since I would definitely get sick from it. But since they won't see that, I'm afraid they will reach the conclusion that I'm healthy enough to work full time, which I'm not. Insecurity always makes me feel depressed, so I guess that's the main reason I'm feeling down. I'm also going away tomorrow to see my cousin (with my kids) and that means that I won't see Rickard and that makes me sad. And he's away to play tonight.

So I'm worrying about the future and don't feel like doing anything.