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A really good end to a bad day
Jan. 6th, 2010 03:05 pmYesterday started okay-ish, as I got some writing and checking up stuff for the article done. Which actually was surprising since I've had some days with intense heartache due to a falling out with a close friend. But I was waiting for said friend to come over and return some books he had borrowed and I sort of hoped that we would be able to talk. But we couldn't so after that I was really, really cast down again.
So it was a very good thing that Marika/Astrid from the local SCA shire had asked me to join them for some singing soon after that. I also called my old friend Caroline and invited myself over for tea, talk and comfort after the singing. This meant that I didn't actually get any singing done, "just" socializing with some of the nicest Gotvik ladies, which was perfectly all right and much lifted my spirits.
I didn't stay more than one and a half hour and then I took the bus over to Caroline's. By this time it was no longer mild, but - 10 C and snowing! I reached her place quickly and was rewarded with tea and a long talk about the wrecked friendship. After a while her flatmate Edward came home and we switched subject and the discussion became more light-hearted. I felt much better then.
A little late we set out for the pagan pub moot, which is held at a very good pub downtown. There were unusually few of us, no doubt partly due to the weather and partly due to the fact that two of our more active participants are moving today, so they and some of their helping friends didn't show up.
After a couple of hours an three pints there Caroline and I continued to a party given by some of her friends (I have met them before too). The were busy playing Guitar Hero when we came, so now I have Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a prayer" running in my head. When we came they stopped for a while and we had wine and were soon enrolled into a game of "Sing star", which was fun but actually is a bit a hard if you can sing, since the point isn't to harmonize with the music but to sing exactly as they believe that the original singer does. Especially hard with male singers since even if you sing the same note it's a bit different when you're a woman (I can explain this in more technical terms in swedish). But it was lots of fun, though I'm so self-conscious among relative strangers that I wouldn't have tried it without those pints ;)
And I only broke down crying once, you really, really shouldn't listen to Depeche Mode's "Precious", when you're this sad deep down.
At twenty past two I felt that it definitely was time to get home, since Rickard works this evening and I can't sleep long anyway. All the time it had been snowing so it was quit a lot of snow. it was cold and it was totally magical. Here I must explain that the first six years I lived in Gothenburg I spent all my social time, and at times also lived, in the western central parts of town - an area I now only visit when going to the pub moot or when I teach fashion history. Usually I just go there, there's nothing special about it and so many things have changed that it doesn't take me back to those times, but there was something about the night and all the snow, I haven't seen snow there since the late 80s/early 90s, and being slightly drunk - and suddenly I was back there, twenty years ago, twenty years old and on the way home from some party. I was so happy and I didn't mind at all having to wade through the deep snow, or that it was very windy and it's a rather long walk home (the trams were unable to drive because of the snow storm). My mp3-player had some problems working due to the cold, but when held inside my mitten it worked so I had an excellent soundtrack. And it didn't matter that it wasn't music I listened to/that was made back then, the magic was so strong that I really was who I was then, walking through a Gothenburg long gone. (It may have benn magic in other ways too, because I really ought to be in lots of pain after that much cold, but I'm not and when I as twenty I wasn't sick, so if it was my twenty year old self who did the walking maybe my 41 year old self wasn't hurt by it?)
I ended up taking a taxi after 40 minutes and I think that was a good idea, it would have taken at least one and a half hour to get all the way home and I need my sleep. When I got out of the taxi and put on my player it started playing "Aquamarine" from the new album with The Men They Couldn't Hang which I got as a christmas present from Rickard and I was, at least partly, back today, but still so very happy - I ran through the snow, singing, home to Rickard. And while I was in my current flat I could also still feel the old me in my student room, less than 100 metres from here (I see my old window through the bedroom window).
A day that started so badly ended up being one of the most glorious nights for a very long time.
Today I'm still sad, but the memory of yesterday is inside me and the continuing cold and snowing makes me happy.
So it was a very good thing that Marika/Astrid from the local SCA shire had asked me to join them for some singing soon after that. I also called my old friend Caroline and invited myself over for tea, talk and comfort after the singing. This meant that I didn't actually get any singing done, "just" socializing with some of the nicest Gotvik ladies, which was perfectly all right and much lifted my spirits.
I didn't stay more than one and a half hour and then I took the bus over to Caroline's. By this time it was no longer mild, but - 10 C and snowing! I reached her place quickly and was rewarded with tea and a long talk about the wrecked friendship. After a while her flatmate Edward came home and we switched subject and the discussion became more light-hearted. I felt much better then.
A little late we set out for the pagan pub moot, which is held at a very good pub downtown. There were unusually few of us, no doubt partly due to the weather and partly due to the fact that two of our more active participants are moving today, so they and some of their helping friends didn't show up.
After a couple of hours an three pints there Caroline and I continued to a party given by some of her friends (I have met them before too). The were busy playing Guitar Hero when we came, so now I have Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a prayer" running in my head. When we came they stopped for a while and we had wine and were soon enrolled into a game of "Sing star", which was fun but actually is a bit a hard if you can sing, since the point isn't to harmonize with the music but to sing exactly as they believe that the original singer does. Especially hard with male singers since even if you sing the same note it's a bit different when you're a woman (I can explain this in more technical terms in swedish). But it was lots of fun, though I'm so self-conscious among relative strangers that I wouldn't have tried it without those pints ;)
And I only broke down crying once, you really, really shouldn't listen to Depeche Mode's "Precious", when you're this sad deep down.
At twenty past two I felt that it definitely was time to get home, since Rickard works this evening and I can't sleep long anyway. All the time it had been snowing so it was quit a lot of snow. it was cold and it was totally magical. Here I must explain that the first six years I lived in Gothenburg I spent all my social time, and at times also lived, in the western central parts of town - an area I now only visit when going to the pub moot or when I teach fashion history. Usually I just go there, there's nothing special about it and so many things have changed that it doesn't take me back to those times, but there was something about the night and all the snow, I haven't seen snow there since the late 80s/early 90s, and being slightly drunk - and suddenly I was back there, twenty years ago, twenty years old and on the way home from some party. I was so happy and I didn't mind at all having to wade through the deep snow, or that it was very windy and it's a rather long walk home (the trams were unable to drive because of the snow storm). My mp3-player had some problems working due to the cold, but when held inside my mitten it worked so I had an excellent soundtrack. And it didn't matter that it wasn't music I listened to/that was made back then, the magic was so strong that I really was who I was then, walking through a Gothenburg long gone. (It may have benn magic in other ways too, because I really ought to be in lots of pain after that much cold, but I'm not and when I as twenty I wasn't sick, so if it was my twenty year old self who did the walking maybe my 41 year old self wasn't hurt by it?)
I ended up taking a taxi after 40 minutes and I think that was a good idea, it would have taken at least one and a half hour to get all the way home and I need my sleep. When I got out of the taxi and put on my player it started playing "Aquamarine" from the new album with The Men They Couldn't Hang which I got as a christmas present from Rickard and I was, at least partly, back today, but still so very happy - I ran through the snow, singing, home to Rickard. And while I was in my current flat I could also still feel the old me in my student room, less than 100 metres from here (I see my old window through the bedroom window).
A day that started so badly ended up being one of the most glorious nights for a very long time.
Today I'm still sad, but the memory of yesterday is inside me and the continuing cold and snowing makes me happy.