The day of the funeral

Today is Annaa's funeral. Since it is in Stockholm I have to catch an early train to get there on time (it's 3,5 hours away on train, but unfortunately they are frequently delayed, so you need som margin). So the alarm clock was set on 4.30. But did I go to bed around nine as I sometimes do? Oh no.
I went to bed at eleven and I've spent the night gliding in and out of what was more drowsiness than real sleep, always afraid that I had somehow missed the alarm and would miss the train. At 4.20 I gave up and here I am now: very tired after maybe two hours of sleep. Unfortunately I've never been able to sleep on the train, but maybe today will be the first day. 
If not you are allowed to  be in a crappy shape the day that one of your very best friends is buried.