Feeling down and worried

[frualeydis]

I'm feeling very down today. I don't know why really. I think it's a lot of reasons: it's that time of the month, it's been grey or raining most of the day, I feel that I'm spending too much money all the time, I will need to do some validation of my ability to work as soon as possible, to keep my sick benefits, but the next two weeks I'm on parental leave because Maja's daycare is closed and then I will be on parental leave in week 32 again, so that I can go to Visby. And when I told the woman who's administrating my case this I felt like I was making lots of difficulties. Also this test is 15 days long and I have hard time seeing how they are going to be able to evaluate that in such a short time; with a disease that comes in flares. Also, I could probably work full time for two weeks, if I didn't have a flare and didn't do anything else at all, medicated hard and was allowed to rest for a month or so afterward, since I would definitely get sick from it. But since they won't see that, I'm afraid they will reach the conclusion that I'm healthy enough to work full time, which I'm not. Insecurity always makes me feel depressed, so I guess that's the main reason I'm feeling down. I'm also going away tomorrow to see my cousin (with my kids) and that means that I won't see Rickard and that makes me sad. And he's away to play tonight.

So I'm worrying about the future and don't feel like doing anything.

Comments

[myralea.livejournal.com]

just sending some hugs, and look forward to see you soon!!!

/m

[kass-rants.livejournal.com]

I hope this doesn't sound trite. It's something I try to remember when I start to worry.

The Dalai Lama once said:
"If you have fear of some pain or suffering, you should examine whether there is anything you can do about it. If you can, there is no need to worry about it; if you cannot do anything, then there is also no need to worry."

If you're anything like me, Eva, you're hurting yourself by worrying. I know it's hard not to worry, but do try to be good to yourself.

And sometimes it's okay to not do anything. Everyone need a "day off". =)

[amonik.livejournal.com]

I wish I could say "Of course they won't come to that conclusion if you tell them how it really is!" but so much depends on who you see. Really, most people are reasonable, and understand that you need to be able to have some sort of life outside work.

[frualeydis.livejournal.com]

It's not trite, it is a useful reminder. I'm usually quite good at that, but not always.

/Eva

[frualeydis.livejournal.com]

I hope so. I also wonder how much drugs is reasonable to take. I now take maximum doses of my anti-inflammatory pills, but I don't take methotrexate since it didn't help (which it often doesn't do for people with PsoA) and had lots of bad side effects for me. But maybe they can force me to take it if I want to keep my sick benefits.

/Eva