I must make a decision

[frualeydis]

After a horrible night, which required doubling the tramadol just to get some relief from the pain (though no sleep), I have to make the decision whether I should travel across the country (not that bad, only five hours on diverse trains and buses) to give my lecture tomorrow. I'm afraid of how I will feel tonight if I do and of how I sick I will be next week after that trip. But on the other hand it is my duty to go since I already said that I would and I'm on the programme.
I wonder why I'm never allowed to rest and get better when I'm ill.