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[personal profile] frualeydis
We just lost the final in Royal league, a cup with the best teams from Sweden, Norway and Denmark. On penalties! If Niclas Alexandersson or Sebastian Johansson just had nailed their shots everything would have been so fine and I would have been ecstatic. Now I'm sad and disappointed and will have to deal with a sad and disappointed husband when he gets home from the game. I seem to have a problem with him feeling down after games we've lost and try to pretend I'm not sad to cheer him up. It is if I can't acknowledge how much I care about football, even to him. Or maybe I'm just afraid of negative feelings and rather pretend that everything is fine. I don't know. I have always had a problem with showing weakness, even in my relationships. Especially in my relationships and long-term friendships. I think I try to spare the people I care about. But tonight I'm going to open up and we can share the pain.

November 2021

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