Health - exhaustion

Yesterday I went to the health centre that belongs to the university and which will handle my rehabilitation. I had a great meeting with the female physician and I will be on 100% sick leave at least until the end of September. We also discussed my suspiscion, or rather conviction, that I have a neuropsychiatric diagnose and she agreed with my thoughts. SO I ahve now sent a letter to a company who does assessments for that wand we will see where that leads. 

I have suspected this all the time since Valeria got her autism diagnosis. But if I didn't also have the pain from the arhtirtis i think that I could have handled it until I retired - I am good at masking (explanation here) and finding coping strategies. But handling autism takes  energy, and handling chronic pain also takes energy. And I have (had) a will of iron which made it possible to push myself constantly. Until it snapped.

As you know I have been denied sick leave or disability benefits for my arthritis and it is ratherobvious that this has caused many of my heath problems: the Graves' disease of 2011-2012, the hole in my duedoneum and stomach of 2013 which nearly killed me, and now my exhasution, which has been a long time coming.

But maybe, maybe, if i get this diagnosis it will get a little easier to get permanent disability - or even just that they accept longer sick leave beacuse of my pain.

However, I don't know anything at this moment, I am just very grateful for this contact with the doctor.

PS. I am not unhappy, I am actually enjoying life a lot most of the times, but of course there is sorrow for what I cannot do, and frustration, since it didn't have to be this way.

PPS. I have taken photos of my new 12th century gown and they look fab!