I felt her/him!
Nov. 9th, 2003 09:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
frualeydisYesterday I felt the first movements inside my womb. First it was a kick and then later at night it was more like he/she did a somersault. Or whatever, weird movements is all you can deduce at this stage of pregnancy. I have now finished the 16th week.
The lecture for the Tolkien society went really good. It took almost three hours, because we got into interesting discussions on clothes and gender, how body and sex were perceived in the Middle Ages and much more.
It started bad however because Bjorn and I were late and I was really pissed off with him because he hadn't answered the phone, didn't know when the bus left and didn't have the phone number to the place we were going to, so we could call and tell we were late. He's a member and had agreed to take me there since I didn't have a clue were it was. So I was angry with him and I don't feel good about being angry with him, and I'm trying to figure out why I get so angry when he screws up. I think the main reason is that we used to be together and that I expect more of him and subconsciously compare him with my husband who never screw up things like this. I apologized a lot so we're okay now, but he's really a person I care for and i feel really bad about treating him badly.
The reason I didn't have phone number, bus schedule etc myself was that yesterday morning our computer screen broke down,with a sizzling sound and a smell of something burnt. We're having some hardware problems currently. The power switch to the computer is broken too, and according to the computer shops in town you can't buy a switch, that little plastic thing, but you have to buy a new mother card (is that the right english word?)to which the switch is attached. My husband had planned to do this, but not now, with money being saved for the birth etc. We have to buy a new screen, I'm currently using my old, very small screen and it drives me nuts. You can't play any modern computer games with it either and since that's the main reason my husband owns a computer something has to be done. Back to the switch thing: we're now using a switch in it's most primitive sense; you connect two electrical wires to start the computer. It's sort of funny actually, I don't mind.
I slept well tonight, between 01.00 and 8.30 so I feel pretty relaxed. Yesterday also finished a yellow linen veil for my 12th century wardrobe, it's rectangular, with green and gold trims in the shorter ends. It's dyed with turmeric (and salt and vinegar)and was originally screaming yellow. I wanted to tone it down a bit so I machine washed it at 60 degrees and now it's a very pale yellow. It's a bit too pale, so I might dye it again, this time with saffron, saffron dyed veils are documented from the 13th century at least (I think also the 12th, can't remember and the book is at work). The reason I didn't use saffron this time was that did it after getting a fit of inspiration while watching "the Matrix" on TV with some friends. I sort of lost interest in the movie at 11 pm and really wanted to dye this fabric. And turmeric I always have at home and it gives a bright colour. I really don't know what got into me.
I think I should wake the girls now so they don't miss all the morning TV.
Eva
The lecture for the Tolkien society went really good. It took almost three hours, because we got into interesting discussions on clothes and gender, how body and sex were perceived in the Middle Ages and much more.
It started bad however because Bjorn and I were late and I was really pissed off with him because he hadn't answered the phone, didn't know when the bus left and didn't have the phone number to the place we were going to, so we could call and tell we were late. He's a member and had agreed to take me there since I didn't have a clue were it was. So I was angry with him and I don't feel good about being angry with him, and I'm trying to figure out why I get so angry when he screws up. I think the main reason is that we used to be together and that I expect more of him and subconsciously compare him with my husband who never screw up things like this. I apologized a lot so we're okay now, but he's really a person I care for and i feel really bad about treating him badly.
The reason I didn't have phone number, bus schedule etc myself was that yesterday morning our computer screen broke down,with a sizzling sound and a smell of something burnt. We're having some hardware problems currently. The power switch to the computer is broken too, and according to the computer shops in town you can't buy a switch, that little plastic thing, but you have to buy a new mother card (is that the right english word?)to which the switch is attached. My husband had planned to do this, but not now, with money being saved for the birth etc. We have to buy a new screen, I'm currently using my old, very small screen and it drives me nuts. You can't play any modern computer games with it either and since that's the main reason my husband owns a computer something has to be done. Back to the switch thing: we're now using a switch in it's most primitive sense; you connect two electrical wires to start the computer. It's sort of funny actually, I don't mind.
I slept well tonight, between 01.00 and 8.30 so I feel pretty relaxed. Yesterday also finished a yellow linen veil for my 12th century wardrobe, it's rectangular, with green and gold trims in the shorter ends. It's dyed with turmeric (and salt and vinegar)and was originally screaming yellow. I wanted to tone it down a bit so I machine washed it at 60 degrees and now it's a very pale yellow. It's a bit too pale, so I might dye it again, this time with saffron, saffron dyed veils are documented from the 13th century at least (I think also the 12th, can't remember and the book is at work). The reason I didn't use saffron this time was that did it after getting a fit of inspiration while watching "the Matrix" on TV with some friends. I sort of lost interest in the movie at 11 pm and really wanted to dye this fabric. And turmeric I always have at home and it gives a bright colour. I really don't know what got into me.
I think I should wake the girls now so they don't miss all the morning TV.
Eva
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-11-09 04:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-10 11:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-11 01:02 am (UTC)The thing is, you can't just choose to have a baby (or in my case; two babies) and have your life go on as usual. It will change, it _should_ change and you can't go back. You are suddenly responsible for somebody else for at least 18 years. That persons needs will have to come first. It doesn't mean that you can't have any hobbies or interests or time for your own things, but at least the first years this will have to be on "hold" and even later "children things", will take much more time than anything else, except work.
I don't want to discourage anybody and I know people who had kids at 17 who were great mothers, but it might be wise to wait until you feel ready to change your life on the whole: from pubs to playgrounds, from seeing friends to going to IKEA in the weekends, from watching your favourite TV-show to washing clothes. From sleeping to not sleeping at night (this is a stage that will pass).
I love having children and I look forward to having this baby a lot, but I'm also glad I did all the other things first, before I had Vendela and Valeria.
Eva