I'm happy I live in a civilized country

[frualeydis]

I just wrote a long response to a person in a discussion in a friend's journal, and LJ ate it. This person was criticizing/ridiculing a couple who believed "that only verbal reprimands should be used on their children" and I wrote that quite a few people believe that hitting children is wrong. That even if it doesn't give lasting physical damage the fact that the one person the child trusts utterly willfully hurts it will cause emotional damage. Children can't rationalize why mum and dad, who they love and who they believed loved them, suddenly would want to hurt them. It is a breeding ground for low self esteem, insecurity and issues with trust. Also, children who are abused very easily pass this pattern on to their own kids.
I wonder how people can think it's wrong if a man beats his wife, but okay if a parent beats his child.

I'm happy I live in a civilized country where the beating of children is forbidden by law. It doesn't mean that it doesn't happen, but there is much less general acceptance of violence against children and statistics indicate that it is more rare since the law was made in the 70s.

ETA clothsprogs' comment made me realise one thing. I, the extremely scared of conflicts person, actually feel secure enough among my friends on LJ to write something that I know is controversial. Yay!

Comments

[norayn.livejournal.com]

Frualeydis ~

There is an art and a talent to being about to communicate with a child.
To have the gift is a god send.

I am not a proponant of hitting children.

Many times what I see about me ( I am in America) are parents who are not ill intentioned but who have really little skill in communicating verbally with their child. Listen around you and you will hear adults/parents saying things to children in words that are 'not comprehensible' to a young child because the adult is talking to the child 'at the adult level' ~ a young child does not have the brain development or cognitive development to comprehend much of what has been stated, then the child might get smacked, spanked, or 'abused' for "not listening" or not complying, when in actuality the child did not & is not expected to have understood what had been said to them. This is the reason why good parenting is "work" in itself. Young children who have been nurtured along, at the childs level of comprehension and achievement oftentimes have a much better time of it.

Also families with more children then the coping resources of the parent(s) involved, same thing. The child will not get the benefit.

Just 2 of the factors which sometimes result in what some may refer to as 'asshole children' ~ children are the product of their parents in sooo many ways. Just my 2 cents!

Vrederun

[frualeydis.livejournal.com]

And you are so right. "Impossible" children are usually the reult of their parents. It is very hard sometimes to communicate with smaller children, but if you don't want to resort to the right of the stronger there is nothing to do but try.

/Eva