I'm happy I live in a civilized country
Jan. 24th, 2007 04:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
frualeydisI just wrote a long response to a person in a discussion in a friend's journal, and LJ ate it. This person was criticizing/ridiculing a couple who believed "that only verbal reprimands should be used on their children" and I wrote that quite a few people believe that hitting children is wrong. That even if it doesn't give lasting physical damage the fact that the one person the child trusts utterly willfully hurts it will cause emotional damage. Children can't rationalize why mum and dad, who they love and who they believed loved them, suddenly would want to hurt them. It is a breeding ground for low self esteem, insecurity and issues with trust. Also, children who are abused very easily pass this pattern on to their own kids.
I wonder how people can think it's wrong if a man beats his wife, but okay if a parent beats his child.
I'm happy I live in a civilized country where the beating of children is forbidden by law. It doesn't mean that it doesn't happen, but there is much less general acceptance of violence against children and statistics indicate that it is more rare since the law was made in the 70s.
ETA![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
clothsprogs' comment made me realise one thing. I, the extremely scared of conflicts person, actually feel secure enough among my friends on LJ to write something that I know is controversial. Yay!
I wonder how people can think it's wrong if a man beats his wife, but okay if a parent beats his child.
I'm happy I live in a civilized country where the beating of children is forbidden by law. It doesn't mean that it doesn't happen, but there is much less general acceptance of violence against children and statistics indicate that it is more rare since the law was made in the 70s.
ETA
clothsprogs' comment made me realise one thing. I, the extremely scared of conflicts person, actually feel secure enough among my friends on LJ to write something that I know is controversial. Yay!
no subject
Date: 2007-01-25 10:24 pm (UTC)Anyway I'm with you. I'm a mom of 2 boys, mostly quite well behaved, and don't feel I have any need to hit. At least in my experience if you tell a child consequences and then actually FOLLOW THROUGH if they disobey there is very little need to even raise your voice. Yes, your child may cry when you put their toy in time out but if you stick to your guns and don't give in they usually stop by less than a minute later.
The thing that really kills me is so often you see parents hitting their kids BECAUSE THE KIDS HIT! Oh yeah, hitting a kid while telling them not to hit makes a lot of sense, uh, NOT!
no subject
Date: 2007-01-26 06:41 am (UTC)And that's what I think too. You don't learn a kid that he/she shouldn't bully other kids by bullying them yourself. The lesson learnt then isn't "it's wrong to bully those that are weaker" but the exact opposite, since that's what the parent is doing. It teaches the kid that the adult is allowed to hurt the child because he/she is stronger, that "might is right". Not something I want to teach my kids.
/Eva
no subject
Date: 2007-01-26 01:04 pm (UTC)The funny thing is I'm actually a more strict parent than many I know and have better behaved children, all without any hitting.