You won't leave your mark on me

[frualeydis]

I have been doing some soul searching, and this is one of the things I came up with:

In the book ”the road to Oz” by Frank L Baum the Shaggy Man tells Dorothy that ”nothing bad ever happens to good little girls”. This may be one of the worst lies ever, but there is, as always, a kernel of truth: If you’re kind to people the chance that they are kind back is much greater than if you’re not.
I am, and has always been, naïve in the way that I always assume that people mean well, that they are good and decent people. Even after proven otherwise it takes lots of work and constant reminding to make me leave that assumption. This may not be the best disposition for a life in academia, with its intriguing and people climbing on others to get a career. Or maybe it is – since you can’t be hurt so much if you’re not taking part in that struggle and that game.
In “Song to the Cynic” by the much underrated Scottish band “the Teenage Fanclub” one of the recurring themes is that the cynic won’t leave his/her mark on the person singing: “And you won't leave your mark on me, I'm protected by an honesty” and I think that is important. No-one can make you feel as bad as you can yourself and if you act kindly and according to your conscience, what are their opinions and actions to you?
I won’t say that bad things doesn’t happen to good girls; in fact I’ve had a few rather bad experiences in my life, but there is no proof that being less trusting would have stopped those things from happening.
And I won’t let them leave their marks on me.

ETA: This is not about self-esteem, or lack thereof, or about if you get hurt by life or not, it's mostly about the way you choose to see your fellow people and how you choose to behave towards them.

Comments

[jehanearbonne.livejournal.com]

It's good for you that you have strong enough self-esteem to feel that way, but not everybody do.

When I was being bullied in school the vice principal kindly explained that "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." He seriously thought that was constructive advice. Just saying.

[frualeydis.livejournal.com]

I think you misunderstood me partly; it's not that it doesn't hurt - it's that I refuse to change: that I refuse to become suspiscious, mean or scheming, not because that would mean that "they", whoever "they" may be, would have won, but because I like it better that way and because I care about my soul.

/Eva

[jehanearbonne.livejournal.com]

I did misunderstand you. Thanks for clarifying.

[mirazandar.livejournal.com]

Så jevla bra skrevet, - men har det skjedd noe galt?

[frualeydis.livejournal.com]

Oh nej, itne på decennier. Mer insikter om att jag aldrig ser eller kan tro vilket rackarspel folk driver med. Dock inte mot miog, förmodligen för att jag uppfattas just som snäll och icke-hotande.

/Eva

[merastra.livejournal.com]

Oh cool. I like this post. :-)