No vaccine yet, stressing out about it
May. 5th, 2021 10:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
frualeydisOur region has decided to ignore the division into priority groups made by the Swedish state, and not not give any preference to people in risk group, unless they are over 60 years old. On the 17th they open for everybody over 50 and I will have to look at 20 different places and refresh their web sites until I can get an appointment, competing with healthy people.
This makes me very anxious, I had a real anxiety attack a week ago, keeping Rickard awake until 3 am.
I didn't use to have these, but with the exhaustion I just don't have the energy to fight this. What stresses me is actually not fear of getting really, really sick and maybe die, but that it depends so much on me, on my effort, if I get teh vaccine or not. What if I do somethign wrong and misses my chance? I know ti is not likely that this will happen, but this is apparently a very aspie/autism thing - sicnce we have spent all our lives working very hard to anticipate what people expect of us, becuase some social things doesn't come naturally, it is extremely stressful when you the rules are not clear, or are not followed, and so much is arbitrary.
Luckily I have Rickard, who doesn't work on the Monday when they are to release the appointments for people over 50, and he has promised to hang on the computer for me. I am also happy that I know a few autistic women who has had the diagnosis much longer and that I can talk to.o
This makes me very anxious, I had a real anxiety attack a week ago, keeping Rickard awake until 3 am.
I didn't use to have these, but with the exhaustion I just don't have the energy to fight this. What stresses me is actually not fear of getting really, really sick and maybe die, but that it depends so much on me, on my effort, if I get teh vaccine or not. What if I do somethign wrong and misses my chance? I know ti is not likely that this will happen, but this is apparently a very aspie/autism thing - sicnce we have spent all our lives working very hard to anticipate what people expect of us, becuase some social things doesn't come naturally, it is extremely stressful when you the rules are not clear, or are not followed, and so much is arbitrary.
Luckily I have Rickard, who doesn't work on the Monday when they are to release the appointments for people over 50, and he has promised to hang on the computer for me. I am also happy that I know a few autistic women who has had the diagnosis much longer and that I can talk to.o