No vaccine yet, stressing out about it

Our region has decided to ignore the division into priority groups made by the Swedish state, and not not give any preference to people in risk group, unless they are over 60 years old. On the 17th they open for everybody over 50 and I will have to look at 20 different places and refresh their web sites until I can get an appointment, competing with healthy people.
This makes me very anxious, I had a real anxiety attack a week ago, keeping Rickard awake until 3 am.

I didn't use to have these, but with the exhaustion I just don't have the energy to fight this. What stresses me is actually not fear of getting really, really sick and maybe die, but that it depends so much on me, on my effort, if I get teh vaccine or not. What if I do somethign wrong and misses my chance? I know ti is not likely that this will happen, but this is apparently a very aspie/autism thing - sicnce we have spent all our lives working very hard to anticipate what people expect of us, becuase some social things doesn't come naturally, it is extremely stressful when you the rules are not clear, or are not followed, and so much is arbitrary.

Luckily I have Rickard, who doesn't work on the Monday when they are to release the appointments for people over 50, and he has promised to hang on the computer for me. I am also happy that I know a few autistic women who has had the diagnosis much longer and that I can talk to.o

But I have done some sewing

I badly needed a hand sewing project for when having tea with Anna, so I started on an Italian 15th century working class gamurra (kirtle) from a hand woven cotton that I bought two years ago. I started with the skirt, since that requires less thinking, but today I actually cut out the bodice.

With the brain fog from my exhaustion I almost always start with the skirt nowadays, because it's easy to cut an it is after all the hand sewing I am after - and then I make the bodice on a day when my brain feels okay.

The reason I did it today was that I got enthusasitic about transcribing 17th century probate inventories, and I am not supposed to work more than 1,5 hours at this stage of my work rehab, so I had to come up with something to occupy me. It was rainign, so I couldn't go for a walk.

I am quilting two layers of linen together for the front tlining, to give it more support, so that will take some time since I am doing it all by hand.